In class, we touched briefly on the sexism in Jhumpa Lahiri’s “The Treatment of Bibi Haldar.” There mere fact that getting married and having a kid is the “cure” to a woman’s malady is problematic. This makes it seem like all women just need to find a husband and give birth, and all their problems will go away. The community in “The Treatment of Bibi Haldar” believes this wholeheartedly, and is indicative of the patriarchal town depicted in the short story.
The community in “The Treatment of Bibi Haldar” is obsessed with marriage. When all the other women in the town are getting married, Bibi fears she is “without promise of a future” (160). Her worry about getting married leads to anxiety attacks. Bibi and the other women in the community want to find husbands because they want “to be spoken for, protected, placed on her path in life” (160). In relationships, men have all the power and control. In fact, it seems a woman almost loses her identity when she no longer speaks for herself and is instead “spoken for.” Talking about weddings, searching for potential bachelors, and planning seem to consume the female life. This depiction of women makes it seem like their sole goal in life is marriage.
The community in “The Treatment of Bibi Haldar” is obsessed with marriage. When all the other women in the town are getting married, Bibi fears she is “without promise of a future” (160). Her worry about getting married leads to anxiety attacks. Bibi and the other women in the community want to find husbands because they want “to be spoken for, protected, placed on her path in life” (160). In relationships, men have all the power and control. In fact, it seems a woman almost loses her identity when she no longer speaks for herself and is instead “spoken for.” Talking about weddings, searching for potential bachelors, and planning seem to consume the female life. This depiction of women makes it seem like their sole goal in life is marriage.
When married, however, the wives in Bibi Haldar’s town are stuck doing traditionally feminine housework. Women look forward to getting married so they can “serve suppers and scold servants” (160). Bibi prepares for marriage by scrawling down recipes to prepare for her future husband (162). Haldar’s wife later says Bibi cannot be married; “the girl knows nothing about anything, speaks backward, is practically thirty, can’t light a coal stove, can’t boil rice, can’t tell the difference between fennel and a cumin seed. Imagine her attempting to feed a man!” (163) The narrator says “Bibi had never taught to be a woman” because she had never learned these essential skills, such as embroidering slipcovers or crocheting shawls (162). A woman’s femininity and identity is equated with being able to do domestic chores and please her husband.
I agree that this story makes it seem like a woman's only job is to get married, take care of her husband, and have kids. I wonder when and where this story is set. It seems like it takes place in a small village, as Bibi doesn't have much of an education and none of the women have jobs. I also think that perhaps society has ingrained into Bibi's mind that she needs a husband to be happy so it's not totally her fault that she's crazy about finding a man.
ReplyDeleteThough this book isn't too old, feminism and gender equality has only increased as time has passed. I think Lahiri does a good job of really immersing us into the Indian culture, and though it clashes with our new age ideas of women's rights/roles, I almost stopped questioning the weirdness of the gender roles by the end.
ReplyDeleteAnother minor but present example of gender disparities in this novel is when the best compliment Sanjeev's friends can give him in "This Blessed House" is simply that is wife is "wow." This would be a reasonable compliment in a standard, American marriage since its almost complimenting the husband as well, but since everyone knows that the marriage in "This Blessed House" is arranged this compliment makes the wife seem more like property.
ReplyDeleteThis only adds to the points I have seen in other blogs where people are wondering how Lahiri is trying to depict India in this collection. Throughout the stories that take place in India, there are a lot of issues, and this just adds to the list. The overall community in these stories does not seem very healthy, and the way that Bibi is treated in this story does not make it any better.
ReplyDeleteGreat post Zina! I agree with what you say, Bibi and other women in the community are being evaluated based on their abilities to please husbands and do chores as well as how attractive they are, and not really on their personalities or other qualities. I found it interesting, the place where you talk about women’s only goal in life being to get husbands reminded me a lot of “Pride and Prejudice,” although it’s a very different setting.
ReplyDeleteGood post! I think Lahiri was definitely trying to emphasize sexism, as you said. I thought the narrator seemed quite sexist at the end when he/she assumed that Bibi was cured because she had a kid. The narrator seemed to imply that a kid is the perfect cure for a sick woman. The narrator didn't consider that maybe Bibi was just happy that she had company, both from a child and from a community that finally wanted to help her out. Not everything is related to a maternal need/want for children, but the narrator(s) doesn't seem to be aware of that.
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